Worrying

They say that worrying is a like a rocking chair: It gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere.

However, regardless of whether one knows how unproductive worrying is, one still does. I was doing just that a moment ago, until I got distracted with how to stop worrying. So here’s what I got so far.

A person worries when he or she is uncertain about an outcome and imagines as many outcomes as possible, but focuses on the negative. The more steps there are to the problem, the more exponential the possibilities are. So there are two parts, being uncertain and focusing on the negative.

About being uncertain

To reduce uncertainty, one needs more information. Without information, the tendency is to worry about the negative (next step). Why? People are generally defensive as a survival instinct. To focus on the negative allows a person to prepare for it.

Having more information allows for a more objective assessment of whether effort and energy should be put into preparing for the worst. Otherwise, even if the chance of a positive outcome is higher, the subjective focus on the negative blinds one into the next step of worrying.

The other thing to remember is, outcomes are infinite. The question is, are you worrying about the top few most likely or are you trying to be a supercomputer and trying to figure out the trillion and one ways things are going to go? Pick the most likely few (if you can’t count them with one hand, you know that that’s too many) and evaluate them.

About focusing on the negative

Focusing on the negative is not bad in itself. But it is bad ALONE. Once you properly assess that the chance of the worse or worst scenarios being a possibility, one needs to properly act accordingly. So it’s good to remember the following:

  1. If a problem has a solution, apply it.
  2. If a problem has no solution, there is nothing you can do about it anyway.

If there is no solution, well, let’s say that worrying has no use. The outcome is beyond one’s control and one should accept it. But if it hasn’t happened, there is no benefit to assume it will.

Not all solutions are desirable, but it is better than the problem (if it’s not, then it’s not a solution). Those are solutions only because we can act on them, and when facing it, we should. But until we face the problem, we cannot apply the solution.

Of course, we can apply the concepts of insurance and hedging to mitigate the risks or even reduce the probability of the worst possible outcome by taking steps. However, like solutions, action must be taken.

Once you know what you should do, you can stop worrying.

Conclusion: Evaluate, prepare and act/react. Anything else is a distraction.

  1. What are the most likely outcomes without intervention (up to five)?
  2. Weigh the likelihood of positive and negative outcomes. Realise it may not be all that bad.
  3. Eliminate the negative outcomes that are you cannot control or solve.
  4. Of the remaining negative outcomes, prepare against them or to mitigate in proportion to their likelihood. If it’s very unlikely, put minimal effort into it.
  5. Let time unfold the sequence of events. At each step, when you face an outcome undesirable, apply the solution accordingly or face the inevitable if it cannot be solved, then repeat if the process is not complete.